Letter to Grandpa Junior

I can't believe you're gone. I guess it will seem more real when we see you next week for the viewing and funeral. We knew it was coming soon, but still, can you ever really be prepared for the loss of a loved one?

We miss you already. I take comfort in the fact that I can picture the way you must look now in heaven. Walking tall and strong, the way I remember you from just a few short years ago, while you walk through the gates of heaven and Jesus welcomes you in with a huge hug. Hey, maybe while you're up there, He'll teach you how to REALLY play the guitar, not just make up songs like you did while you were down here on earth. :) Although we laughed about it, we all truly loved those songs Grandpa. They were an expression of your love for us, and we knew that. You haven't done that in a few years, and I already miss it. But, I've decided that I'm going to remember you the way you used to be, not the way you've become as your body has slowly slipped away in the past few years.

I'm going to remember you taking me to breakfast at Bob Evans to show me off to all of your favorite waitresses there. Oh, how I wish I hadn't griped and complained at having to wake up early to go there with you so many times. I'm going to remember you pushing the lawnmower around the backyard in the heat of the summer, sweating like crazy, but strong and proud enough to do it on your own and not have someone younger do it for you. I'm going to remember you coming to Florida and sitting outside and baking yourself in the sun because you liked the way you looked with a tan. You always had a sunburn on your face and shoulders during the summers in Ohio or when you came to visit us in Florida. Oh, how I wish you hadn't done that now Grandpa. I'm going to remember the way you always tried to show me that you were still young, by dancing a little jig or jumping up with both feet off the floor in the middle of the living room. I'm going to remember how you loved to practice writing your name in cursive, over and over, filling up a whole sheet of paper. I'm going to remember you sitting in your favorite corner of the couch, absentmindedly picking at the scabs on your arms while you watched sports on TV. You sure loved your Kentucky Wildcats basketball team. I'm going to remember how much you loved fruit, especially bananas, and how you always seemed to be going into the kitchen to grab a snack. I'm going to remember how you always had gum in your pockets (usually Freedent, because it didn't stick to your dentures), and made sure that you gave us some as we walked out to the door to wherever we were going. I'm even going to remember the way you started to misplace things and Grandma found them in the oddest places as your memory began to decline in the later years. I'm going to remember how you loved to call me "Mantha" and the silly little song you made up about me: "Mantha Marie, she lived in a tree"...or something like that. Most of all, I'm going to remember what you always said to me as we got off the phone with each other. "I love you Mantha, with all my heart". Just this morning, as I was driving to work and picturing Jesus welcoming you into heaven, those words you always spoke to me were whispered into my ear, and I found great comfort in them.

So Grandpa, I'll be seeing you in heaven someday, but for now, just remember...

I love you Grandpa, with all my heart.